Just turned around.

I never ought to turn around.

Why?

Shame?

Anxiety?

Sometimes you take too stupid decisions.

Realize them way too late.

You suffered all these years for no reason.

You did not turn around.

You took a stupid decision.

One days your steps are heavy.

You do not have much more than the heavy steps.

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The path is coming to an end, the circle is bound.

The fire is lit.

People are there to celebrate.

All my dreams.

Everything I ever wanted I actually found.

Anything I wanted to do I did.

I reached the point.

The meaning of life.

Can anything ever be more than it has?

Redeem my faith.

It is oh, so hard.

Do not know how to start.

So many tears.

So much darkness.

The one in my heart.

It felt just like this.

Just the pain aged and got more complex.

I do not know where to go.

I do not know how to start.

Coming from out of nowhere.

No intentions to break my heart.

Feels like I am just nothing.

The strikes. I miss.

Once again, alone in painful sorrows.

Sometimes is hard to shine when the diamond inside you have no more lights, no more powers and no more value.

So far away but there is no distance. It is probably just too late.

Aaahhrreeeem…

When I list my albums of the year it is mandatory to totally forget one of the top ones.

So it happened again and now it is too late to change… so I will recommend it, then.

 

HELSTAR “Vampiro”

I saw and ad of their euro tour listing STOCKHOLM MARCH 1 TBA, I hope them tickets are released soon. Last time I saw them were in Eindhoven in 2009 or 2010.

It began in Africa…

They say. Thursday will take me there. Will be a fantastic opportunity to see a part of the world I’ve only seen on pictures before. See what kind of positive energy and inspiration it will give me. I am so grateful for this adventure.

I am just searching to find out if my life would be complete with something closer.

I see it as an inspiring journey, a path to begin what I do hope will bemy final chapter as a certain characteristic. I have so mych to give. This year it is time to burst it out. That is why I came back to this blog. I need a mirror to reflect upon. See what Africa will give to me. I do hope it is only the absolute best.

Albums of 2016

As my life in general Not too many great albums came in my way in 2016 but the ones who did are really bloody good. Songs I will sing along too over many years. Moments of truth. Looking at it, it is actually quite mainstream for being me. I must have lost my feeling for the underground.

As usual, no single songs or singles or ep´s. Full albums, so sorry Necrosic, sunnO))) etc.

13. NEUROSIS “Fires Within Fires”

Many of my friends will hate me for not putting this higher on te list, It just is not better than the other albums despite being really good. Just when you kick amazing 30th anniversary shows and released the maybe best record in your career before this, then expectations must rise too. It feels like they did not get it all the way, still an amazing album.

12. SUMAC “What One Becomes”

Chaotic unstructured sludge kicks off this record. It takes us through out the entire landscape of modern sludge mixing in unexpected guest notes. What I love with this album is that I keep discovering new things within every single listen. A very artistical album when your ears needs more complexity than the ordinary radiopoprock.

11. SINISTRO “Semente”

This band is so much heavier, direct and righteous live, After seeing them no less than three times at Damnation Festival, Roadburn and in Stockholm I can only hope that they can get more of their live karisma into their next studio effort. They need it. The first album I actually never heard but it do not contain their current singer. whom is more than half the pleasure of listening and watching.

10. VEKTOR “Terminal Redux”

Somewhere between intensive thrash and progressive metal. I never heard anything like this album since Hellwitch debut album “Syzygial Miscreancy” in 1990. When you can handle the progressive part and mix it with intense thrash metal , then it is more than great. Complexity deluxe, like a 40 year old Barolo wine.

9.  IZEGRIM “The Ferryman´s End”

Dutch thrashers Izegrim never leaves you sad. No exceptions here. The intensity is bloody marv. Unfortunately I missed see them live to perform songs from this album.

8. MAIDAVALE “Tales of the wicked west”

Over the years I´ve seen this quartet playing the pubs in Stockholm. They are young and goes from one to another. Their debut album is just THE Janis Joplin I miss in todays music scene. Use your soul and rnb vocal influences in metal, but do not bloody MTV-them like too many others do. Definitely the most interesting new Swedish rock act in my eyes along Rome Is Not A Town. Superb live band.

7. DARK THRONE “Arctic thunder”

This band kept changing their sound up and down so many times over the years and it is not always for the good. When it is good, they are the best band in Norway. This contains a unique guitar playing style I did not hear them do since their debut album “Soulside journey”.

6. BLACK MOUNTAIN “IV”

A band I discovered at Roadburn in maybe 2011. Their space rock is frantic and somewhere between E.L.O., The Beatles and Rush with a heavier and sometimes punkier touch that these other legends do not provide. Their gig at Roadburn this year, despite starting 1am, just proved that this is a band to count in for the future. We will definitely hear more from and about this band.

5. SUBROSA “For This We Fought The Battles of Angels”

Not too fond of christian bands in general. On the other hand this mormon combo do not predict that way and if you sometimes here a something different to the “hail satan”-shouts in your music, then it is fine. Their magic gig in a art space theatre on the floor along Sinistro infront of maybe just 35 people were one of the highlights in this city this year.

4. 40 WATT SUN “Wider Than the Sky”

The doom metal version of R.E.M. strikes again. Darn I´ve been waiting for this ever since their gig at “Hammer of Doom” 2015. Fabulous soundtrack to the Swedish summer.

3. SOULBURN “Eartless Pagan Spirit”

Asphyx-legends and founders Eric and Bob are maiming loose tremendous paths of old school with a touch of the very old school such as Venom/Hellhammer. Delicious dutch extreme metal. No words, no thoughts. Just slam it through your speakers.

2. DESTRÖYER 666 “Wildfire”

This is a masterpiece. They do have such many moments and songs and records over the years. This is exceptional. With some new members giving their competence in song writing and composing it gives this band a new dimension without compromising any of the old dimensions. Fantastic.

  1. BLOOD INCANTATION “Starspawn”

When a band steal all the greatest elements of death metal and sell their theft rebuilt in a exclusive and complex portion of black magic, then it is the end of discussion. Top level death metal and one of the greatest bands I had the opportunity to see this year at California Deathfest. I will never forgive myself for leaving that festival NOT buying any merch from them. I am still blaming the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

Honourable mention:

CONVULSING “Errata”

I do not know if this is a 2016 album or demo release or 2016 at all. It just came in my knowledge yesterday and it is a fantastic wall of sound worthy to spend a few hours upon.

 

High expectations 2017: MEMORIAM, VENOM INC., IMMOLATION