Tremendous Summer this far.


It might sound odd saying that before saying this,

just the fact that even if certain things are %/€&€%&%, it does

not automatically mean your whole life is destroyed

and you end up on cheap alcohol and pills, no.


The last couple of months just been like a stressful


Made a few decisions and have total

control of my situation for the first time

in years despite the stress.

Some things needed to be left behind.

All unanswered.

The necessary knowledge came from somewhere else.

To fulfill this omission of chaos and congenital esophageal

errors and do not stress up to much mentally I needed

to leave things right where they were and never suppose

to take bring up again.

As suffer Tuberculum Majus Fractur at the same time

meaning soon six months of sleeping problems.

Waking up several times per night in pain

does not make things easier. Also, this means

an involuntary break into doing my favorite hobbies:


play guitar, play pinball, go swimming.


Life is really no fun at all at this moment, therefore.

Well, I am not the guy sit at home whine about such


I do live my life on a daily basis and do what the heck I can

to make it comfortable:

Go to gigs, host beer tastings and other events, try to get my

orchestra of death metal to record, hang out with the people,

walk long and peaceful walks etc


The shoulder fractures are taken care of too, but the doctor

says it takes approximately 10 months to heal so he will

not have a second look at it before the fall. Still under control

and there is a plan for it. Good enough for me and calming my



Now a few days to rest my soul and body

(hopefully, they meet at the same level again).

So I will just swim in the eternal flood of rock and or roll,

poetry, horror movies, great food, and tasteful liquid.


The meaning of life.


Last few weeks did probably contain the weirdest rollercoaster ride of my life with just being life with a packed schedule. I was going up and down really, really fast. Most likely I could not do anything else but hold on. Some parts were frightening, some jolly and some really dull. Some were fantastic and some parts were a bit overrated and overestimated and forecasted way too high.

So is just life. Just happening. Everything always went on somewhere else, as usual. I am the grand master of taking the wrong path (most time finds my way back again after some weird adventures).

Last few weeks were packed and the tempo of the damned called.

Now I do look forward to a slower summer and I will definitely just not patch so much on my calendar from now. I hope the rain and darkness and cold attacks Sweden as I am allergic to the weather someone imported from Sahara or something. I can manage a day or two with bright, hot sun, then I need my cold breezes and grey skies again.

I am in love with October. Soon I hope my love will come back to me again.

Tonight I am back on normal phase. Normal speed. Back on the island close to my sleep.

Back in daydreams and slumber, dominations and number. Where I can feel who I do believe is really me.