there will always be parts of life that will be kind of insipid, for years it´s more or less been like that. like I am fading away, become more & more unintresting to people, feel more & more that I might not belong here in this part of the world, maybe I should change something… move, maybe I should stay here and fight… there are many questions… maybe I just need to be loved… just for a moment… maybe it is all that I need… or maybe it is not what I do need. I am just becoming more and more speechless… more and more distant from humanity…