So this year, year 42 made to reach level 42 and find the meaning of life.

I am settled and my heart is full. I know where to go and where not too.

Just not sure if I am welcomed or not.

Another day I will find that out. Now I need to master the nearest future.

Calculate my steps. Altering my plans if needed. Must be sure first.

Disturbances there are. This world is filled with destroyers.

I threw some of them out of my world.

They can destroy the world for others.

My life is destroyed enough.

I do not need these people no more.

Now I live just for the ones that do not bite back.

Because if people try to love you. Do not make that hard for them because of you get your fishes hot by some.

The some that might not make the sun shine bright another day.

I wrote this some time ago, and it is published now 04.26 am February 23 2017.

I came to earth 04.26 am February 23 1975.

I do hope I am still alive. I do hope I am still adored by some.

I do hope a special one I keep thinking about every day steps forward.

I do not think I can on my own.

Time is a passage. Now I believe you and I are through.

The glory days are ahead.

 

 

The past is alive and it creates a surreal reality.

All of a sudden.

I am so small.

I have nothing left.

I threw it all away.

All.

I try to talk.

I am not heard.

I try to feel.

I am just hurt.

The new sphere of sorrow and mind misery.

Where I am.

I am trying to run.

I hope I will take the right turn.

Away from this morbid reality.

That slowly breaks me down.

 

 

The hardest thing in life must be sorrow and broken heart.

I faced them both this week.

Your world stops and nothing ever means anything no more.

Happiness and joy can not exist.

Life must go on.

My sorrows never ends.

Still it can turn.

Evrything can come again.

It can all return.

The joy and the meaning of life.

My happiness, my everlasting strife.

I never been good inviting folks to events. If I´ve been it is because I do paid others to do it for me.

So if you are not invited, I do not mean to exclude you. It it feels that you belong you are free to come.

It is all about them of you whom feels I can give.

So you can take.

Never to abuse.

Just to use.

Because there is only one whom can take, use and abuse my soul.

The one whom already stole my heart away from you others.

What is true never dies.

Some times it changes directions.

It just never dies.

Because it is the naked truth.

The most inner you can ever feel.

Sooner or later t will come back and haunt you.

Chase your mind.

Stalk your steps.

It will be with you night after night.

It just neither walks away or dies.

It will sway behind you in the shadows for thousands of years.

It is for one reason.

People are good at hiding away from it.

They realize sometimes too late.

Because it will never die.

 

Unspoken? When is someone unspoken? Unexpressed? Maybe silence is a way to express a lot for some. What if they talk a lot when they are comfortable. Why is the reason to talk at all if you got nothing to say to the other person or persons present? When I was young I was louder to some. because I did have nothing to say but did anyhow because I thought you had to. What if it is easier to be social where you do feel comfortable these days without words but with many thoughts? No words do not mean no thoughts but many words can mean no thoughts. We all know these folks that keeps talking too much despite they got nothing that matters to say. Some like it that way. Some like it other ways. Some people do believe, some people do know. Some people do not know neither do they believe. There is seldom no relevance in what other people do say. I am not too puzzled by most people. I never been. For the fascinating ones my enthusiasm is burning. At least every now or every then. Though dedication is just aimed to a very few chosen ones. A very few. Sometimes I do drift apart from them or maybe  from you and even from me. I know it, still not puzzled by it.